By Christine E. Springer
I’ve been going through a year of intense transformation, during which time my physical/financial security has been rocked. Whether it’s the ascension process or a mid-life crisis (or both) there have been A LOT of insights delivered. I have observed, through my own astrological transits, that the Universe never wastes an opportunity to deliver some new “lessons” that help me peel away another layer that’s covering up who I really am.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
One of my latest insights is that going through periods of financial difficulties is an opportunity for us to accelerate our personal growth. From our soul’s perspective, this experience offers a rich opportunity to break through a LOT of stuff that’s holding us back.
Admittedly, I am still not in conscious alignment with this experience – in other words, I don’t really believe this upheaval was required for me to get the message. I often wish the Universe would just send me a bullet point memo so I can just get on board instead of yanking the rug out from underneath me.
I also wonder what the point of all this is – it just seems like it’s never ending obstacles, and honestly, I’m getting a little bored with it. It’s predictable. “Oh, you want to do ___________? The answer is NO.” What a shocker! (Not.)
I also feel like I’ve been knocked so far off the path of what I wanted to create for myself in this lifetime. Sure, some of it is probably not as important as it once was, but honestly – I did not come here for an extended experience in lack. We are in these physical bodies for a reason and therefore I want more experiences related to abundance than lack.
I can hear my resistance in those previous three paragraphs, yet I’ve surrendered to the idea there is no easy way through this. It requires commitment to some hard work and things I don’t want to do.
I have NEVER had a problem earning enough money to support myself. Yet, beginning in October, 2015, a really odd vibe blew through my reality (which I can explain through astrology, maybe I’ll talk about it in a later post) and suddenly I found it nearly impossible to earn enough money, despite my contingency plans and multiple streams of revenue.
From a logic and reason standpoint, this derailment should not have occurred. I’m a planner, strategist and I’m nothing if not prepared!
Until this happened, I’d held a belief that if I was doing what I was supposed to do (that if I was a “good person” and living up to my responsibilities), I would escape these problems. I thought this was evident in my reality because things always just worked out, even if it was at the last minute. I was used to uncertainty, and always held faith that things would be OK.
But…in October 2015, the energies changed and somehow I missed the memo. This was the kickoff to the Saturn-Neptune transit plus I’d just had a lunar eclipse in Aries (remember the eclipse last fall that was visible?) that heralded an ending. (There were/are more transits going on in my chart, but these were big influences.) I knew it was coming but I didn’t think it would be EPIC.
I started seeing 555 constantly, which I eventually figured out was the Universe’s way of giving me a heads-up about all the changes.
Anyway, it took me months to get over my resistance. I felt like the victim, like I was being punished. I cried, wondered WTF was happening to my life and was PISSED that this was happening to me. It took me long time to start adapting to things as they were and not how I wanted them to be.
I had to develop some new ways of being as a result.
I had to learn how to open up to other people, be authentic (which to some people seems like oversharing – which I think is more a symptom of how we are all used to wearing masks around each other), tell people what is/was happening in my life and ask for their assistance and patience while I worked on fixing the mess that my life had become.
I had to write some humbling e-mails and letters to creditors to ask for their help while straightening out my finances.
The hardest part: I had to work for FAR less money than I’m used to making, which made the situation drag out even longer. And the byproduct of this meant I have to make MORE changes in my work and my businesses so that this doesn’t happen again.
I’ve had to build relationships with people when I’d rather go it alone and withdraw.
I’ve had to take a hard look at my circumstances and make some big changes, which has been upsetting to the people around me.
I’ve had to learn to reign in my impulsiveness.
I have had to commit to getting out of a situation in the way that worked instead of bypassing it or taking a shortcut. Clearly, the Universe was not going to let me leap over this, or go around it, or use my talent for “hacking” problems to avoid them.
I’ve had to learn how to take tiny steps when I wanted to be able to leap ahead.
There was no way through this except a way that I did not want to go through, which requires surrender and a deep knowing that things are going to work out, that this is probably the best way to get through the situation, and to trust that I was loved and supported.
So, as you can see, I went through this kicking and screaming.
Some other insights:
I can handle this. (You can too!)
I am not what I do for a living.
I am not my thoughts.
My worth as a person or as a woman is not measured by how much I accomplish in any given day.
If things start to look REALLY messy (or downright awful) it’s because the situation is about to leave my reality and I just need to stay the course a bit longer while simultaneously allowing it to go.
As it says in the Bible, "It came to pass...." This difficult situation is not meant to stay in my reality.
None of the things I was afraid of actually happened. It’s all bullshit – and when I finally stopped being scared of “what-if’s” things got easier. I looked these situations in the eye and called them out as the illusions they were. I stopped giving them my energy.
It is important to find happiness DURING hard times. (I thank Mama Gena for this one!) This is perhaps the BIGGEST lesson of all. I’ve found ways to squeeze in some fun things, even as they are little things, in an effort to balance out the hard stuff.
I’ve also learned how to stay in the moment rather than worrying about the future. Things DO work out when you let go. When you’ve surrendered, that’s when the magic happens.
Surrender may feel forced when you realize your best efforts aren’t enough. It sucks, and it’s OK if you aren’t happy about it.
Transformation is messy. Don’t try to understand it through logic and reason.
It’s hard to understand from our reality why things happen despite our best conscious intentions. Our soul is in charge during those times, and that’s because we had a plan for this lifetime that we have forgotten when we incarnated into this physical reality.
The Universe tests all possibilities through chaos. Sometimes we have to let go and trust that things are going to work out for us.
If you are going through the awakening process or just having a hard time understanding what's happening to you, I empathize. As you can tell from the tone of this post, I am still working through my resistance!
I hope that sharing my insights bring you some comfort on your own journey.